If we are Honest…

As I turned 31 there were some things that I believed should have happened by now but didn’t. There was specifically one thing I had prayed for and told people about. Something that I am unsure if it will even happen now.

I wanted to be a motivational speaker, and to be honest I was truly researching what it took. As I searched, I was disappointed. I was met with the reality that if you are a motivational speaker people are relying on your words to lift them up. People will take your words as bible and apply it to their life. Then when they run out on the motivation of the last words that were spoken they will come for more. And If your really good at motivating, more people will come and your ticket prices will go up and next thing you know you will have little versions of yourself spewing out your mantras for a better life.

You will then start working for the masses instead of the Messiah. Oh no, that is not for me. I could barley even make it out of bed some days, I rely on God’s grace not words. And If I rely on words its His words not my own. There was no way I could be a motivational speaker, it would not be my truth.

This realization for me was depressing and devastating and soul crushing and all the other words you can use to explain your dream crashing and burning. I just could not believe that something I had been trying to set myself up for was not for me, not at the moment anyhow. I spoke to friends and told them, that this “dream” I had was not going to happen and that I must have heard God wrong.

As those words came out I was embarrassed and I was just letting my tears flow down my face. But God is so good that he positioned close friends to tell me ” maybe the way you saw your calling is not the way God envisioned it for you. Maybe that is for you on a smaller scale, on a personal level.” And that’s where the honesty came, we make plans for ourselves with the gift that God has given and we mold it into what we want it to look like. Into what the world says a successful way of using your gift would be.

I love lifting up women, I love rooting for them and showing them they are loved. And I love doing that because at a certain point in my life I hated who I was. And yes I would want nothing more than to be able to motivate women all around the world with His words, but each one of us means the world to Him, so aren’t I doing it already?

So I leave you with these truths that were learned as I turned 31; God’s timing is perfect, He can see the past, the present and the future. God has His greatest plan for you in mind even if you feel your gift is being down played, trust me its not. God loves you and will not give you something that will have you gain the world and loose your soul. And lastly His plans are better than your plans and His ways are higher than your ways. You are so loved.

 

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