A mask can be worn to hide one’s identity, but when you are hiding your identity you are hiding who you are, who God made you to be. Do you find yourself wearing different masks with different people? I think at some points in my life I did, when I didn’t know who I was. How could I have a clue to who I was if I was always so busy trying to find the right mask?
I struggled with self esteem issues and so I though by pretending to be someone I wasn’t I would feel better. Most of my friends did not know this because I dare not show it. I began to wear a mask and hide my emotions. Hiding behind this fake facade did make me feel better, for the moment, because I felt accepted and maybe even envied. As you have probably already figured out Its easier to be liked than to be ostracized for being who you are.
Social media is a great place where we can show off our masks and magically hide behind them. I think its where most of us try to find acceptance. Always showing the bright side of our “perfect” lives because apparently we all have it all together. But we do not!!
The mask that I wore for some time was the “perfect” model. There was other masks to choose from but that is the one that was calling my name. You see commercials and advertisements claiming a product or someone to be “perfect” and that is exactly what I wanted to be. That mask just kept molding into my face intertwining it’s ribbons onto my hair. For a while that mask fit like a glove, until it didn’t. It became tight , and uncomfortable, I could feel it attaching itself to my skin. It began to wear my patience for others thin. I began to feel self righteous and not giving an ounce of grace to others. I was becoming that which I was wearing.
Can I confess to you that I was already a believer. The bible tells us that we are all sinners, that no one is perfect, except for the Father. That only through the son can we reach the father, that it is not by works. And how does this tie into my awesome mask wearing self? Well, I thought I was perfect and that my petty sins surely cannot take my perfection away. I believed that by being perfect God would love me more, or like me more. I want to tell you that I was wrong and not only about God liking me more, but about people as well.
I learned that by wearing a mask of perfection you actually push people away. That the word intimacy in friendships,in marriage and most importantly with God will just not happen if you are not being honestly imperfect. Others need to see your scars before they will allow you to see their wounds. And God totally knows you because He made you, so your not fooling Him. The only person you are fooling is yourself.
My friend take off that mask whatever it may be. It can look like mine, beautiful and perfect in every way. Maybe you are wearing the “strong” model, which is the one that does not show any emotion. How about the “independent” model, where you do not ask anyone for help because it might make you seem weak. I don’t know may be you own a whole set and you have a collection going. I have no clue, but I can tell you that the day I realized I didn’t have to hide my imperfect self from others is the day I truly saw how beautiful I was.
I began to say what was on my mind.
I began to allow grace to help me love those who I had looked down on.
I began to allow myself to be vulnerable with others.
I began to see that I am rough on the edges and that is totally okay.
I challenge you to say R.I.P to who you have been pretending to be in this mascaraed ball of life. Start to meet who you really are, start to know what you stand for. Do not hide any longer. My God is good and accepting and there is nothing behind that mask that He has not already seen.
notlostbutfound 