“You Better Recognize”

You better recognize what a big sinner you are because once you do you will be able to love much. It is said that God favors the humble but resists the proud and so it is with the Pharisee and the Sinful Woman who anoints Jesus in Luke chapter 7 verses 36-50.

Its basically a story about a Pharisee ,a Jewish person who strictly follows the written law, and a sinful women who does the unthinkable.What you need to understand is that Pharisees thought themselves better than others. Instead of having a relationship with God and be driven by love they followed rules and regulations thinking that their works gave them right standing with God.   The woman on the other hand was a sinner in need of a Savior by the name of Jesus Christ. You can see that we are at two ends of the Spectrum here.

This  Pharisee who invites Jesus to his home treats him disrespectfully and pays him no attention but this woman who was considered sinful and was not even invited washed, kissed and poured perfume on his feet. The Pharisee did not see himself as a sinner needing forgiveness, grace or love. Yet this woman knew she needed forgiveness, needed grace and most definitely needed love. So she humbles herself and serves the Father while the prideful Pharisee does nothing.

Before this woman leaves Jesus makes two bold statements  “Your sins are forgiven” and “Your faith has saved you.” This is exactly what happens when you are saved. You come to the Father, acknowledge that you are a sinner in need of a Savior and you have faith that you receive forgiveness of your sins through Jesus. This is a story of Salvation. After you are saved you see that it was love that saved you and you know that it is not by works but by faith that you are saved. You are filled with thankfulness and you love much because much has been forgiven.

The ministry of Jesus was about people . He gave himself daily to the multitudes to the disciples and to those who needed healing. The works done by Jesus came from a place of love and every work He did was for others and not for himself. At times he even broke some rules to make a point that it was not regulations that gave you right standing with God but love for the Father. May we know that we have been forgiven much so that our love will be much.








I am not going to Church, I am sleeping In

I really thought about writing this for a while but was scared too. I was scared to be judged by my one reader or my zero reader. But I decided that I must write this. Not for me but maybe for that one person who is struggling with this at the moment. Or I might be lying and this actually is for me.

My relationship with God is a beautiful one in progress. I tell Him everything, my struggles, my pain, my motives you name it. I also listen to Him through His word. Don’t think I am walking around listening to voices and talking to myself and thinking that it’s God. I read my bible and study His ways.  I am not going to a physical church but I am keeping in the word. I am telling others about Jesus, I am listening to Sermons online and talking to other believers. The reason I stopped going is because it began to feel disingenuous. The people were not the problem and I am not disillusioned with the church either. I just didn’t want to go anymore and that does not make me a bad person.

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At this moment in my life I just need to be with God on my own. Have my own thoughts with Him and of Him. I want to be able to have church in me. To be the church and proclaim His love. I love those people who wake up every Sunday and go to church to hear the Pastor. I love those who are serving and greet you with a smile as you enter the sanctuary. But for the moment I want to be at His feet. I want to be me with Him and experience Him and for me this is what I needed.

Before anyone tells me that I need to be with other believers, trust me, I know, and I am keeping in touch. I have someone to hold me accountable as we should always and people I ask for prayer when I’m in need. I have people that I pray for and people that I encourage. I just needed to figure out who I was in Christ without the rituals I had made for myself or the things that I needed to do to look like a Christian. I do love Church, the building, but at this moment in my life that is not where I am at. I will return one day when God shows me it is time and I am ready. I want to be genuine about my presence.

I am not saying don’t go to church but what I am saying is stop making God a mundane thing. He is more complex than that, He is in everything. He is more than just a Sunday sermon, more than just a bible study once a week, He is more than anything we could imagine. So for now, I do not go to a building, not because I think It is wrong but because I want to do church with my family and friends and strangers. And if I am wrong He will guide me back, no worries. I love Jesus and just because I am not physically going to a church and I am sleeping in it does not mean I don’t love Him.


No Bible Verse for this One

“And if you think you are so small and so not worth His time, think again He is totally listening to you I promise. I would not tell you this if it wasn’t so. “

I really did try to find a verse fitting for this post but I could not find one. Usually when I post it’s about what I read in the word that resonates with something I have lived or something I might be living at the moment. With this one incident that happened recently I only had faith to hold on to.Faith that came from the word, not just one verse that was memorized. Faith that came from other times where the Lord has shown me His goodness. And that’s just it, you can’t just throw a bible verse at someone and expect them to feel better and hold onto it. You have to truly believe what is coming out of your mouth. If you are telling them that God is a provider, then tell them how He has provided. If you want them to know that He is a God of the impossible show them what impossible things He has done. Is He a healer, how so? Has He been faithful, well when?This faith has to be alive. So , I just want to encourage you today with what the Lord has recently done for me.

Recently my car broke down on my way to work and was later towed away to the Dealers for inspection. Turns out it was going to cost us a pretty penny to get it fixed. A pretty penny yeah right! A whole lot of pennies, not just one! My husband and I began to try and figure out how we were going to deal with this. As we talked about our options I told Him we needed to pray, we needed to ask God for help. I knew God as a provider because He had provided for me personally in the past, I knew He loved me because He gave Jesus for me, and I knew He was a God of the impossible because He restored my marriage.

My prayer was that we would pay nothing to get my car up and running. I am not kidding, I prayed that we would pay zero out of pocket for this incident. My husband told me I was crazy, and well I am. And while I waited for the miracle I jokingly mentioned to God certain things that I wish would happen, and guess what? They happened. Very specific things, not coincidental things . Not only did He take my comments about how I would want things to play out but we payed zero out of pocket.

God is not a genie! He is not UberEats! And He is definitely not going to give you whatever you so desire! I believe He did this because He loves me and through it He strengthened my faith and taught me a lesson. He granted me grace with this incident. My husband and I did not deserve to get this paid by Him but He did, he payed the bill on this. He gives His kids good things. When He was answering my jokingly made remarks He was teaching me that HE listens. That there is a billion people in this world but I matter, just like you matter. He is always listening and nothing is impossible for Him.

So today as you think about your life think about this. We do not deserve grace but He willingly gives it because He loves us, its that simple. Whether it be for the forgiveness of sin with undeserved grace or a total bail out from a situation you got yourself into. And if you think you are so small and so not worth His time, think again He is totally listening to you I promise. I would not tell you this if it wasn’t so.So be bold and ask for help, but even if He does not answer the way you would like He will work good out of it.




It Is Not My time

Psalm 27:14 “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord.”

What I am about to share only my close friends know, but i think its time I let it out.Every time I looked at the pee stick I cried, most commonly known as the pregnancy test . When I married my husband it was one of the first things on my list as well as living happily ever after of course. It was one of my biggest dreams, to be a mom. Time after time that pee stick said , “nope not this month.” After a while all that longing turned into bitterness.

I would see a woman I knew pregnant and murmured under my breath that she did not deserve that blessing. I would see young girls getting pregnant and automatically snap at God saying that they were unfit mother’s. I felt the anger every time a friend was pregnant for the second time, or even friends who were not even trying just conceive. Those fertile myrtles really ticked me off.  For a time I did not want to be around pregnant women because I secretly hated them. I would cry and ask God “why not me?” In all honesty it made me feel like God was saying that I was not good enough to hold life inside me, unworthy even. As I write this I can remember the pain every time that pee stick said no.

As time passed I slowly but surely saw that it is all about God’s timing. I took a while to learn this valuable lesson. And that lesson was not learned in a day, a week, or even a month, it took years to learn this. I was not ready to be a mom, that is the beautiful truth. You see, when you give your life to the Lord you are saying you trust Him with your plans, your dreams and most of all with His timing. His timing is always perfect and you need to know that and accept that.

Looking back I am so thankful for God’s intervention. For Him telling me no on motherhood. I wanted a child for selfish reasons, not because of love or because I wanted to raise up a kind , loving human being. Back then a child to me meant validation, it meant that I would not be alone, it meant maybe my marriage would be saved. Those where lies i told my hurting self! I do not need validation because I am enough. I am not alone because God is always with me. And adding an innocent child to a struggling marriage will not save it, only God can do that.

So when God is having you wait on something whatever it may be, just know that He has His reasons. You might learn the reasons later as to why He said no or you might never know. But you do know that His plans for you are greater and that His thoughts are higher. He wants to prosper you and not harm you, all He wants is to give his children His best. A life full of hope and the impossible made possible.

My life right now is pretty great, no kids yet, just a dog and the husband but I am super happy and blessed. I am not lacking in anything and I could never had even imagined how sweet my life would be, but He did. Not having kids has helped my husband and I become closer. We take trips together and just have fun with each other. We stay up super late which we regret the next morning but we get to sleep in so its okay. God has renewed our love. We have nieces and nephews that we adore and have helped us to know what kind of parents we want to be. I said want to be because honestly I don’t think anyone has this parenting thing down.  When God finally says it is time I will be full of joy but for now I will rejoice with the women in my life that are prego at this moment. All I am saying is trust God’s timing, it might be painful but I assure you that this pain helps you grow and learn. His timing is perfect!






Extra!Extra!Read All About It!! Jesus Accepts Sinners!

 You are a thief,a lying,corrupt, fornicating, cheating, and murderous human being, with evil at the root of your heart, you are a sinner.

I am hoping that my first sentences really captured your attention.
Maybe you can relate to one word up there, how about two, or three? If you can relate to one or more of these words then you are a sinner. And there is someone, that although you are a sinner would welcome you in.

Let me tell you about the accepting Jesus the “atheist” don’t tell you about. This man showed love in the way that no human being that has ever lived has shown. Jesus came to scream from the roof tops “Come to me all those who are weary and burdened.” Does this sound like a Jesus who would tell you that there is no room at his table? Who would take one look at you and write you off because of mistakes you have made?

His friends included prostitutes, tax collectors, blind men, liars, cheaters,the deaf, the lame and all those who were outcasts of society. While he was here on earth he healed so many and fed the masses. This man came to embrace those the world deems unlovable. Yet all the religious leaders hated him, despised him and wanted him dead. They did not like Him or what he stood for. You see Jesus taught that all, let me write that again, that ALL who would come and repent would be forgiven of their sins and would have ever lasting life.

So here is my point, Jesus says to come as you are. Do not wait until you are perfect or a better person because that my friend will never happen. He says to come as you are because he knows that you are battling thoughts of self hate . He knows that you are struggling with self worth. He says come as you are because he knows your secret sin, your addiction. He says come as you are because he knows the pain you are going through. There is no sin that is bigger than his love for you. There is no sin that he does not know about. There is no sin he cannot forgive. Extra!Extra!Read All About It! Jesus Accepts Sinners!



“R.I.P to the Mask”

A mask can be worn to hide one’s identity, but when you are hiding your identity you are hiding who you are, who God made you to be. Do you find yourself wearing different masks with different people? I think at some points in my life I did, when I didn’t know who I was.  How could I have a clue to who I was if I was always so busy trying to find the right mask?


I struggled with self esteem issues and so I though by pretending to be someone I wasn’t I would feel better. Most of my friends did not know this because I dare not show it. I began to wear a mask and hide my emotions. Hiding behind this fake facade did make me feel better, for the moment, because I felt accepted and maybe even envied. As you have probably already figured out Its easier to be liked than to be ostracized for being who you are.

Social media is a great place where we can show off our masks and magically hide behind them. I think its where most of us try to find acceptance. Always showing the bright side of our “perfect” lives because apparently we all have it all together. But we do not!!

The mask that I wore for some time was the “perfect” model. There was other masks to choose from but that is the one that was calling my name. You see commercials and advertisements claiming a product or someone to be “perfect” and that is exactly what I wanted to be. That mask just kept molding into my face intertwining it’s ribbons onto my hair. For a while that mask fit like a glove, until it didn’t. It became tight , and uncomfortable, I could feel it attaching itself to my skin. It began to wear my patience for others thin. I began to feel self righteous and not giving an ounce of grace to others. I was becoming that which I was wearing.

Can I confess to you that I was already a believer. The bible tells us that we are all sinners, that no one is perfect, except for the Father. That only through the son can we reach the father, that it is not by works. And how does this tie into my awesome mask wearing self? Well, I thought I was perfect and that my petty sins surely cannot take my perfection away. I believed that by being perfect God would love me more, or like me more. I want to tell you that I was wrong and not only about God liking me more, but about people as well.

I learned that by wearing a mask of perfection you actually push people away. That the word intimacy in friendships,in marriage and most importantly with God will just not happen if you are not being honestly imperfect. Others need to see your scars before they will allow you to see their wounds. And God totally knows you because He made you, so your not fooling Him. The only person you are fooling is yourself.

My friend take off that mask whatever it may be. It can look like mine, beautiful and perfect in every way. Maybe you are wearing the “strong” model, which is the one that does not show any emotion. How about the “independent” model, where you do not ask anyone for help because it might make you seem weak. I don’t know may be you own a whole set and you have a collection going. I have no clue, but I can tell you that the day I realized I didn’t have to hide my imperfect self from others is the day I truly saw how beautiful I was.

I began to say what was on my mind.

I began to allow grace to help me love those who I had looked down on.

I began to allow myself to be vulnerable with others.

I began to see that I am rough on the edges and that is totally okay.

I challenge you to say R.I.P to who you have been pretending to be in this mascaraed ball of life. Start to meet who you really are, start to know what you stand for. Do not hide any longer. My God is good and accepting and there is nothing behind that mask that He has not already seen.



“Dare to call Jesus a feminist”


When I think about the word Feminism I think of women’s rights. I am not wrong, if you look up the definition of feminism it clearly states the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. In my heart I believe that God wanted the same thing for us. In my opinion, Jesus shook up the Jewish law by going as far as calling a woman a daughter of Abraham(Luke 13:16) therefore solidifying our equality with men . If anything I could dare to say that Jesus was a feminist in the sense that He began to give women leading roles in His book  and treating us as equals.

If we begin with the Old Testament the woman that comes to mind is Queen Esther. This Queen was beautiful, bold, wise and most importantly had faith in the Lord. God used her to save His people during a time when they were being targeted by a man named Haman . Esther was a woman of power and God made it clear that women could hold such a position. Her story is found in the book of Esther in the Bible.

Abigail was another woman who shows great wisdom and made a difference in the Old Testament. This woman spoke to David when he was to take revenge into his own hands. The Lord used Abigail’s tactfulness and wisdom to remind him that revenge belongs to the Almighty. Clearly the Lord had spoken to her heart about His teachings and she surely had wisdom. The story of Abigail and her foolish husband Nabal is found in 1 Samuel 25.

The third woman I will mention is of course Mary, the mother of Jesus. With her story I want to mention that the angel of the Lord did not go tell Joseph of His plan first, he chose Mary to speak to. He allowed for her to make the decision not her fiance. Her story is found in the book of Luke and Matthew.

God made it clear that women should no longer be treated as property or an object.These women I mentioned have names but there are others who did not that, and still their stories have made an impact.  There is the nameless women who washed Jesus feet, which went against the grain.What about the woman who was an outcast due to her bleeding issue of twelve years, she dared to push through the crowd and touch His robe in hopes of healing . The woman who spoke to Jesus by the well, then we have the women who followed Jesus and heard His teachings . All these women even if they are nameless made a difference, showed courage, wisdom, faith, integrity and strength.Can i tell you that God always has a plan, and in His plan was to make it clear that we are not lower than men?

Ladies if you are of the faith do not give into the world trying to tell you that in order to be strong you need to be “better” than the men out there. Do not believe the lie that you need to call the shots in your relationship, and not for a second keep  comparing yourself to a man. You were made to be you, wonderfully and perfectly imperfect you.