No Make up No Problem

1 Peter 3:3-4 New International Version (NIV)
3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

This week was a gentle lesson. Not one that flipped my world upside down but one that made me examine my heart and what I truly believe and post about. I had the flu since Friday and it was a strong. I don’t think I have ever gotten it the way I did. My body ached, I was running a fever, for some reason my eyes were swollen and because I also had a cough I was not getting any good sleep. I felt horrible! So because of this I kept rubbing my eyes, blowing my nose, touching face and make up was not an option. For me its doing my eyebrows, eyeshadow mascara and some blush. My routine its that simple, but it makes a difference to my outward appearance.

It was weird that I was a bit hesitant about not wearing make up to work. Why did it even matter? I mean it was just work. As the week progressed I knew why I had been hesitant because of the way others would see me. I listed below the comments I received during my no make up weeeknand what my thoughts were at the moment. I don’t think the comments came from a place of negativity but of observation.

“You look sick”-Which I was. “You don’t look like yourself”-I think I looked the most like myself since I was all natural. “You look weird”-I actually don’t have a comment for this one.lol. “You look older”-Cool, because I am turning 30. “You look pale”- Yep I did.”What’s wrong with you”-Um I don’t know my body is fighting a virus so maybe its that.

While you may think these were negative in nature I totally do not see them that way. People were just telling me what they were observing, not a big deal. I do think though that they affected me in some way because by Wednesday I was asking myself ” Am I not pretty, if I am not wearing make up or doing my hair, I mean I think I’m pretty?” Woah, insecurities coming on. Excuse me, does not beauty come from within, is what I kept hearing inside myself. I was definitely confused for a second. And side note I sounded so vain asking myself “am I not pretty” but in light of keeping honest I want to tell you that was an actual thought in my head.

How easily do we let the comments of others determine our beauty, determine our look determine how we feel about ourselves. How easily we let things as superficial as make up or clothes determine whether we are beautiful or not. How can we base our confidence on things that fade with time? As the week progressed  though it made me dig deeper into what God spoke about beauty. God does not see beauty as something outward but something that is inward. God sees beauty through your heart.

I think the one piece of scripture that spoke to me the most this week is the one I quoted In the beginning because it speaks exactly to what I was attributing my beauty towards that week. I am usually confident but for some reason or another I doubted that my beauty was within and that was a heart check moment.

Want to know something cool though? The whole week I had my co workers ask me every day how I was doing. Laughing when I made jokes and really caring for my well being. Even my husband was such a rock star telling me how beautiful he thought I was as I blew my nose on the couch making elephant noises onto the tissue. All these things all this love I was receiving was not coming from what I looked like but for who I was.

Don’t get it twisted though I believe women should work on their outside as well. Keeping fit because the body God gave us is ours to take care of until we get new bodies. Putting on some make up because why not accentuate your good looks. Wearing cute clothes on a date with the Hubs because he is a visual creation. All these things just add on to your beauty they don’t take away what true beauty is.

True beauty does not fade with time. True beauty is not a counterfeit of someone else’s. True beauty is not the brand of clothe you wear.True beauty is non tangible. So I say to you with confidence “No make up No Problem.”

 

 

 

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“Worry into Worship”

Have you heard the song ” So Will I” by Hillsong Worship? That song has been my inspiration in this season of waiting.

Waiting is not one of my strengths. At this moment with our fast internet, our get it now mentality waiting is something of a lost art. I loose sleep over the things that I keep waiting for. I try to figure out ways to make them happen and I tire myself out. In the background I hear God saying that in time it will come.

I keep asking God when, I keep asking God how. I exhaust myself trying to figure it out. How can I have faith when I cannot see it coming in the distance? How can I have faith when I don’t see the wheels turning or the wind changing? Then I find the song ” So will I” while searching for another song. I play it all week because I feel there is message for me there. Then my friend sends me a link and asks if I had heard this song, and guess what song it is, yep that same song I been playing for about a week on repeat. So now I really need to listen. It took me about two weeks to quiet my soul and ask and seek what I was being told.

If you know me there is no surprise that one of my favorite things is worship. I love singing to God and getting to connect with him through song. At times I don’t know what to pray but I know singing will get my point across. God knows us intimately and cares so much that to get His point across to his hard headed daughter he used worship.So everyday on my way to work and on my way home I played that song. Endlessly I played that song. I focused on the lyrics and what it brought to my heart when I listened to it.

It speaks about the mass greatness of God as a creator. He has no point of reference, He is the ancient one. He spoke everything into existence. How big is our God that He created galaxies! All of creation worships Him. The stars by shinning, the sun by rising, the animals by just doing what they were created to do are in worship. There It was!

His message to me was simple but yet so deep.

“Yesenia I am so big, I spoke the galaxies into existence do you not think I have this covered? Yesenia I made all creation and all of it worships me, it worships me all the time without ceasing. Yesenia, truly leave it in my hands and just worship me. That is all you have to do, worship. You have done your part in what you are waiting for now just sit there in peace and worship me. I love you I created you and everything around you. Turn that worry into worship because when you worship you are elevating me above your problems. You are elevating me above the things that are getting in the way.”

That was the message. So friends I ask you to do one thing, replace my name with your name and hear the Father tell you this today. I will say it again “Turn that worry into worship.”

 

 

 

“You Better Recognize”

You better recognize what a big sinner you are because once you do you will be able to love much. It is said that God favors the humble but resists the proud and so it is with the Pharisee and the Sinful Woman who anoints Jesus in Luke chapter 7 verses 36-50.

Its basically a story about a Pharisee ,a Jewish person who strictly follows the written law, and a sinful women who does the unthinkable.What you need to understand is that Pharisees thought themselves better than others. Instead of having a relationship with God and be driven by love they followed rules and regulations thinking that their works gave them right standing with God.   The woman on the other hand was a sinner in need of a Savior by the name of Jesus Christ. You can see that we are at two ends of the Spectrum here.

This  Pharisee who invites Jesus to his home treats him disrespectfully and pays him no attention but this woman who was considered sinful and was not even invited washed, kissed and poured perfume on his feet. The Pharisee did not see himself as a sinner needing forgiveness, grace or love. Yet this woman knew she needed forgiveness, needed grace and most definitely needed love. So she humbles herself and serves the Father while the prideful Pharisee does nothing.

Before this woman leaves Jesus makes two bold statements  “Your sins are forgiven” and “Your faith has saved you.” This is exactly what happens when you are saved. You come to the Father, acknowledge that you are a sinner in need of a Savior and you have faith that you receive forgiveness of your sins through Jesus. This is a story of Salvation. After you are saved you see that it was love that saved you and you know that it is not by works but by faith that you are saved. You are filled with thankfulness and you love much because much has been forgiven.

The ministry of Jesus was about people . He gave himself daily to the multitudes to the disciples and to those who needed healing. The works done by Jesus came from a place of love and every work He did was for others and not for himself. At times he even broke some rules to make a point that it was not regulations that gave you right standing with God but love for the Father. May we know that we have been forgiven much so that our love will be much.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am not going to Church, I am sleeping In

I really thought about writing this for a while but was scared too. I was scared to be judged by my one reader or my zero reader. But I decided that I must write this. Not for me but maybe for that one person who is struggling with this at the moment. Or I might be lying and this actually is for me.

My relationship with God is a beautiful one in progress. I tell Him everything, my struggles, my pain, my motives you name it. I also listen to Him through His word. Don’t think I am walking around listening to voices and talking to myself and thinking that it’s God. I read my bible and study His ways.  I am not going to a physical church but I am keeping in the word. I am telling others about Jesus, I am listening to Sermons online and talking to other believers. The reason I stopped going is because it began to feel disingenuous. The people were not the problem and I am not disillusioned with the church either. I just didn’t want to go anymore and that does not make me a bad person.

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At this moment in my life I just need to be with God on my own. Have my own thoughts with Him and of Him. I want to be able to have church in me. To be the church and proclaim His love. I love those people who wake up every Sunday and go to church to hear the Pastor. I love those who are serving and greet you with a smile as you enter the sanctuary. But for the moment I want to be at His feet. I want to be me with Him and experience Him and for me this is what I needed.

Before anyone tells me that I need to be with other believers, trust me, I know, and I am keeping in touch. I have someone to hold me accountable as we should always and people I ask for prayer when I’m in need. I have people that I pray for and people that I encourage. I just needed to figure out who I was in Christ without the rituals I had made for myself or the things that I needed to do to look like a Christian. I do love Church, the building, but at this moment in my life that is not where I am at. I will return one day when God shows me it is time and I am ready. I want to be genuine about my presence.

I am not saying don’t go to church but what I am saying is stop making God a mundane thing. He is more complex than that, He is in everything. He is more than just a Sunday sermon, more than just a bible study once a week, He is more than anything we could imagine. So for now, I do not go to a building, not because I think It is wrong but because I want to do church with my family and friends and strangers. And if I am wrong He will guide me back, no worries. I love Jesus and just because I am not physically going to a church and I am sleeping in it does not mean I don’t love Him.

 

No Bible Verse for this One

“And if you think you are so small and so not worth His time, think again He is totally listening to you I promise. I would not tell you this if it wasn’t so. “

I really did try to find a verse fitting for this post but I could not find one. Usually when I post it’s about what I read in the word that resonates with something I have lived or something I might be living at the moment. With this one incident that happened recently I only had faith to hold on to.Faith that came from the word, not just one verse that was memorized. Faith that came from other times where the Lord has shown me His goodness. And that’s just it, you can’t just throw a bible verse at someone and expect them to feel better and hold onto it. You have to truly believe what is coming out of your mouth. If you are telling them that God is a provider, then tell them how He has provided. If you want them to know that He is a God of the impossible show them what impossible things He has done. Is He a healer, how so? Has He been faithful, well when?This faith has to be alive. So , I just want to encourage you today with what the Lord has recently done for me.

Recently my car broke down on my way to work and was later towed away to the Dealers for inspection. Turns out it was going to cost us a pretty penny to get it fixed. A pretty penny yeah right! A whole lot of pennies, not just one! My husband and I began to try and figure out how we were going to deal with this. As we talked about our options I told Him we needed to pray, we needed to ask God for help. I knew God as a provider because He had provided for me personally in the past, I knew He loved me because He gave Jesus for me, and I knew He was a God of the impossible because He restored my marriage.

My prayer was that we would pay nothing to get my car up and running. I am not kidding, I prayed that we would pay zero out of pocket for this incident. My husband told me I was crazy, and well I am. And while I waited for the miracle I jokingly mentioned to God certain things that I wish would happen, and guess what? They happened. Very specific things, not coincidental things . Not only did He take my comments about how I would want things to play out but we payed zero out of pocket.

God is not a genie! He is not UberEats! And He is definitely not going to give you whatever you so desire! I believe He did this because He loves me and through it He strengthened my faith and taught me a lesson. He granted me grace with this incident. My husband and I did not deserve to get this paid by Him but He did, he payed the bill on this. He gives His kids good things. When He was answering my jokingly made remarks He was teaching me that HE listens. That there is a billion people in this world but I matter, just like you matter. He is always listening and nothing is impossible for Him.

So today as you think about your life think about this. We do not deserve grace but He willingly gives it because He loves us, its that simple. Whether it be for the forgiveness of sin with undeserved grace or a total bail out from a situation you got yourself into. And if you think you are so small and so not worth His time, think again He is totally listening to you I promise. I would not tell you this if it wasn’t so.So be bold and ask for help, but even if He does not answer the way you would like He will work good out of it.

 

 

 

It Is Not My time

Psalm 27:14 “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord.”

What I am about to share only my close friends know, but i think its time I let it out.Every time I looked at the pee stick I cried, most commonly known as the pregnancy test . When I married my husband it was one of the first things on my list as well as living happily ever after of course. It was one of my biggest dreams, to be a mom. Time after time that pee stick said , “nope not this month.” After a while all that longing turned into bitterness.

I would see a woman I knew pregnant and murmured under my breath that she did not deserve that blessing. I would see young girls getting pregnant and automatically snap at God saying that they were unfit mother’s. I felt the anger every time a friend was pregnant for the second time, or even friends who were not even trying just conceive. Those fertile myrtles really ticked me off.  For a time I did not want to be around pregnant women because I secretly hated them. I would cry and ask God “why not me?” In all honesty it made me feel like God was saying that I was not good enough to hold life inside me, unworthy even. As I write this I can remember the pain every time that pee stick said no.

As time passed I slowly but surely saw that it is all about God’s timing. I took a while to learn this valuable lesson. And that lesson was not learned in a day, a week, or even a month, it took years to learn this. I was not ready to be a mom, that is the beautiful truth. You see, when you give your life to the Lord you are saying you trust Him with your plans, your dreams and most of all with His timing. His timing is always perfect and you need to know that and accept that.

Looking back I am so thankful for God’s intervention. For Him telling me no on motherhood. I wanted a child for selfish reasons, not because of love or because I wanted to raise up a kind , loving human being. Back then a child to me meant validation, it meant that I would not be alone, it meant maybe my marriage would be saved. Those where lies i told my hurting self! I do not need validation because I am enough. I am not alone because God is always with me. And adding an innocent child to a struggling marriage will not save it, only God can do that.

So when God is having you wait on something whatever it may be, just know that He has His reasons. You might learn the reasons later as to why He said no or you might never know. But you do know that His plans for you are greater and that His thoughts are higher. He wants to prosper you and not harm you, all He wants is to give his children His best. A life full of hope and the impossible made possible.

My life right now is pretty great, no kids yet, just a dog and the husband but I am super happy and blessed. I am not lacking in anything and I could never had even imagined how sweet my life would be, but He did. Not having kids has helped my husband and I become closer. We take trips together and just have fun with each other. We stay up super late which we regret the next morning but we get to sleep in so its okay. God has renewed our love. We have nieces and nephews that we adore and have helped us to know what kind of parents we want to be. I said want to be because honestly I don’t think anyone has this parenting thing down.  When God finally says it is time I will be full of joy but for now I will rejoice with the women in my life that are prego at this moment. All I am saying is trust God’s timing, it might be painful but I assure you that this pain helps you grow and learn. His timing is perfect!

 

 

 

 

 

Extra!Extra!Read All About It!! Jesus Accepts Sinners!

 You are a thief,a lying,corrupt, fornicating, cheating, and murderous human being, with evil at the root of your heart, you are a sinner.

I am hoping that my first sentences really captured your attention.
Maybe you can relate to one word up there, how about two, or three? If you can relate to one or more of these words then you are a sinner. And there is someone, that although you are a sinner would welcome you in.

Let me tell you about the accepting Jesus the “atheist” don’t tell you about. This man showed love in the way that no human being that has ever lived has shown. Jesus came to scream from the roof tops “Come to me all those who are weary and burdened.” Does this sound like a Jesus who would tell you that there is no room at his table? Who would take one look at you and write you off because of mistakes you have made?

His friends included prostitutes, tax collectors, blind men, liars, cheaters,the deaf, the lame and all those who were outcasts of society. While he was here on earth he healed so many and fed the masses. This man came to embrace those the world deems unlovable. Yet all the religious leaders hated him, despised him and wanted him dead. They did not like Him or what he stood for. You see Jesus taught that all, let me write that again, that ALL who would come and repent would be forgiven of their sins and would have ever lasting life.

So here is my point, Jesus says to come as you are. Do not wait until you are perfect or a better person because that my friend will never happen. He says to come as you are because he knows that you are battling thoughts of self hate . He knows that you are struggling with self worth. He says come as you are because he knows your secret sin, your addiction. He says come as you are because he knows the pain you are going through. There is no sin that is bigger than his love for you. There is no sin that he does not know about. There is no sin he cannot forgive. Extra!Extra!Read All About It! Jesus Accepts Sinners!